I don't really know how to intro into this, but I guess I'll just take a stab at it.
There are two things that take my focus off of God: fear and pride. I've grown up hearing about the "fear of the Lord" ,but never really understanding what it means. I think it is best to understand what it means to fear God, and then branch off to the two categories I mentioned earlier. Fearing God is attitude of reverence and honor towards the creator who has been more loving, patient, merciful, and faithful than I ever thought. In some aspects it is recognition of his amazing power.
"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same" Rudyard Kipling "If"
I really like this section of the poem because it points out two things that are frauds in life. Life isn't about the triumph that you've accomplished, and it certainly shouldn't be consumed by the disasters that have happened. The peace of God comes when you don't put your confirmation and identity in the accolades that you have accumulated. It says in the bible that God opposes the pride. It is easy to see why. Picture someone that you have given all possible necessities in life to, bless them with provisions of food, shelter, friends, and on top of that a relationship that cost you the death of a loved one. Now picture that person turning to someone else, and taking credit for everything that you have given them.
The other side of the coin is fearing the disasters that come every single day. Fear is anything that I view too problematic for myself and in turn for God. In some ways fear is a lack of identity as a child of God. It makes me sad when I'm going through a difficult situation or moment in time where I doubt God's ability to take me through it or to provide what I need. It elicits this feeling because I've forgotten of all the things he has walked with me through before. I've found out your definition of what you need to deal with something and God's definition are not the same. It is easy to trust in God when you can break away from your problems be it school, relationships, or family problems. But something about trusting God through a hellish situation is so sweet (not like the bro "sweet", but like the honey sweet). Remember that God is teaching you and disciplining you to fear him above your circumstances.
So there's my 2 cents. I guess I'll wrap this up with a story?
So about two weeks ago was when everything hit the fan at the same time. For about two or three weekend straights I had had no weekends to relax, and barely any time to break from school. I was finishing off my three weeks of tests with a physics test on Friday, and genetics test on Monday and I was worried about how in the world I would maintain any of this. On top of this, the girl I had been interested in for a sizable amount of time wanted to talk. So I finished my physics test and the next day I was going to meet with my friend and talk. (I wanted to skip over, but I also want to properly display what was going on in my mind). I'll leave the girl unnamed. So we meet and talked for a little bit and it was definitely a difficult thing to absorb with all that was going on with school. It wasn't bad per say, but it was something I didn't feel I could give much thought too at that moment. But of course when I decided to study, my heart and mind decided to drift. I woke up the next morning (day before genetics test) barely prepared, but at peace about the whole situation that had unfolded the day before. I think the song " Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus" played on loop for a few good hours. I woke up that Sunday sick and not feeling so great. So I started studying for genetics and as the day progressed, I started feeling worse, and being less able to absorb any of the information. I ended up semi-breaking down because I felt I had no one to relate to how busy and overworked I had been the last few weeks. I ended up calling my dad( something I think I did for 5-6 days in a row over this weekend) and talked for a little bit, he told me to take a break and go eat some food. As I got to the cafe I just had an attitude of wanting to be away from most people. I ended up running into two of the girls on my missions team last year. One of the girls had recently gotten news from the doctor that her feet( which had been through some ridiculous problems over the last year) were healed and in better health than any they had seen before. This was really encouraging to hear, but I still felt down and very reluctant to resume my studies. I ended up leaving with them and walking towards the library and I asked them if they would pray for me to feel better) I didn't feel much better, but I had peace that whatever happened would be ok. Whether I failed or passed, I was going to honor God with the opportunity I had. I decided to go to bed early and sleep 8 hours and wake up at 6 and start studying. Right before going to bed I thought about what I had had to drink throughout the day: 5 cups of coffee and one cup of water. Granit I was sick from a head cold, I made it a heck of a lot worse by dehydrating myself to a max. I drank four cups of water and went to sleep, woke up the next day in clarity and started studying till 2 and did well on my test. After all of that cluster cuss of a weekend, I'm convinced that no situation is too big or too crazy for God to take you through. It is so sweet to trust that Jesus will take you through. It will be difficult, but your attitude will change everything in such a crazy way. "Thankfulness in a situation doesn't change your circumstances, it just changes your attitude" "Do not be anxious about anything, but with prayer and petition with THANKFULNESS make your request made known to God."
So that's what God has been showing me about thankfulness, pride, and fear. Fun stuff. Stay humble because the second you think you are taking yourself through your problems is the second you will fall flat on your face.
In that day this song will be sung in the land of Judah:
“We have a strong city;
he sets up salvation
as walls and bulwarks.
Open the gates,
that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in.
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.
Isaiah 26:1-4
