passion, passivity, faithfulness

The progression of a man’s life is interesting in and of itself. I’m rereading the book way of the wild heart and the author explains the stages of a man’s life and the aspects of each. The interesting stage to me right now is the “warrior” stage. Basically the warrior is the time in a man’s life that he begins to recognize his passions and sets out to see them accomplished. This stage begins around late teens to early twenties. I would say for me personally my passions have been identified within the last year and a half of my life (since I’ve been in college).

            I would say some of the biggest passions God has put on my heart are community, lost identity, family, and the power of prayer. These have been put on my heart since being at PBA and I want to address the things that cause passivity to passions. Before this semester began my heart was on fire for these things and seeing them developed somewhere, but I hadn’t really faced situations like I was going to go up against.

Sadly one of the biggest problems in a young warrior as I’ve seen true in my own life, is that if Satan can’t keep you out of the battle completely, he will dog pile you once you’ve chosen to fight. This sucks, and it makes things way more stressful if you aren’t mindful of God’s hold in your life. The joy I’ve found this semester in recognizing God’s faithfulness through the most ridiculous situations has grown my faith in him exponentially. I’m every bit as busy as last semester, but I’m not afraid. I’ve been reawakened to the things that I am passionate about seeing and I’m ready to fight for them.

I think part of the beauty of God is shown through the difficult times when he reveals pieces of his character. By sharing the testimony of what God is doing in your life with other people, you allow for remembrance of God’s power in your own life and acknowledgement of his power to other people. (Both of which are encouraging)

 Let me clarify that this semester has not been peachy keen; it has been stressful, overwhelming, and gut wrenching at times. In no way is everything perfect all the time and butterfly happy candy land. Its been challenging mentally, physically, and spiritually, but in every low God has been there with me. He has never left; I remember one night I was laying in bed thinking there was no way I could get through a particular week. It’s funny to me how quickly God answered that spark of doubt. I picked up a devotional my pastor had given me and read the passage for that day. The whole thing was about the rest of God and that true rest is not exemption from struggles and hardship, but rest in the midst of battle. Right after this I got a text from another RA saying he could cover one of my shifts I had asked him to take last minute. Sounds like two little things happened in a short time, but to me they meant the world. God knew how much those two things would relax me and calm my spirit. Looking back on it, I laugh at myself for being brought low by such silly things, but I’m so glad God took me through that because it taught me so much about his faithfulness to us as Christians.

2 timothy 2:13 “If we are faithless; he remains faithful”

One of the biggest components to fighting apathy and passivity is to recognize that God is faithful. It is easy to skim over something as profound as that, so I challenge you to look back at times in your life when God has moved you or stirred a passion in you .He is the romancer of our soul; he knows what we need, when we need it. He knows that certain hardships will cause us to lean more into him and trust more that he will protect us throughout them.

One of the stories the author of this book talks about involves him going through a huge trial and just before it begins God speaks to him and says, “Give way to nothing”. He didn’t really know what this meant at the beginning of his trip, but knew exactly what it meant at the end. He was tested, pushed on every different front imaginable. I think this is why community is so big in my heart. Good community should refine passions and reduce passivity. The popularly quoted proverbs: Iron sharpens Iron hold true in fellowship.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable to other people and reveal how you think, what you think about, your weaknesses, your strengths, and your passions, you begin to grow a lot. Seeing how God is faithful in other people’s lives can be extremely encouraging as well as seeing how much grace God has towards those that humble themselves and ask for forgiveness.

So fight, fight after the passions God has put in your life because Satan is fighting to stop you from doing anything. If you choose to do something with the passion God has given you, Satan will try to overwhelm you in to quitting, but remember that greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. God is a fortress, he’s waiting for you to calm down and realize that your ultimately safe inside the walls.

Proverbs “Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life”

So being on a college campus everyone seems to have the mindset of relationships, dating, and marriage. It is a good desire to have, but much like any desire, if it consumes your thoughts, then it should be evaluated. Why do a lot of people desire relationships? Loneliness and selfishness come to mind when thinking about most high school to college relationships. Serving and loving are what come to mind when I think about what a relationship should be like.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” C.S. Lewis

This quote does a really good job at calling out selfishness and personal gratification as cancers to healthy relationships. It is better to lay naked with someone spiritually and emotionally before physically.

All this to briefly give an idea of what I think the foundations of a healthy relationship should be, but what is the way to pursue these things in a relationship in a Godly manor? In a manor that is ok with being counter culture if necessary?

I was talking with a friend earlier today about dating and one thing that came up was the first date. To clarify, this isn’t the first date post relationship; this is the first one on one interaction of two people. To summarize his question: how can you get to know someone and make a well educated decision as to whether you want to date them if you never spend time with them and get to know them as a friend.

What if going to coffee with someone, was just that.. going to coffee with someone. The pressure that is put on hanging out one on one with the opposite sex is huge.

As you grow in knowing another person, you learn more about their character, their walk with God, their strengths, weaknesses, and much more. You begin to trust them as a person, you respect what they think and their character, and you honestly get to see the way they are committed to their friends and how they interact with other people on a day-to-day basis (hopefully in a non-creeper way). My question is: why would you give your heart to someone you honestly barely know. You know they’re cute, charming, but you don’t really have that foundation of friendship if you rush things. Would you give your luggage to a total stranger in the airport? Would you accept luggage from a total stranger at the airport? Going from meeting someone to leaving all of your baggage with him or her is a dangerous means of beginning a relationship. 

So do we put to much pressure on hanging out with the opposite sex one on one? The answer is yes, just a lot of bit.

So to summarize what my friend and I talked about earlier today: It is ok to go out with someone to get to know him or her as a friend. Yes I think you should be mindful of the other person’s heart and as the guy I plan to be intentional in that area, but you are the caretaker of your own heart, being rooted in your identity as a Christian lets you know that you are a son or daughter in Christ and that your fulfillment is found ultimately in him and not in your feelings from a relationship. By living like this, you should take it to heart that the person your going out is not the means of gratification God has in store for you. There is a popularly quotes verse about being anxious that fits well here, and right after Jesus says to not be anxious, he say’s to set your mind after things of the Kingdom of God and all of these will be given to you as well. As you refine your mind through the difficult and easy things, you produce endurance, that produces character, and that produces Hope in the spirit of God who shows faithful to those who his.

So I guess this is a little bit of a call to change your perspective on going out one on one with a friend. The bible says to take your thoughts captive, don’t allow yourself to build up a friendship in your mind and race it all the way to marriage before you even hang out with the other person. In a way that is like taking the friendship God gave you and telling him “I’ve got it from here, I can lay out the rest of this story exactly how I want it to be” Enjoy getting to know other people, each Christian you meet holds characteristics of God that you might not have, appreciate, respect and be encouraged by them.